my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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