I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
