New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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