The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
only you would photoshop your dick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
