the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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