I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
