can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
did i walk over a car last night?
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Randomize
