He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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