Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
