I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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