whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
