i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
