can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
