i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
