so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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