So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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