I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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