Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
