I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize