on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
organizing the empties. That sober.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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