Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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