ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
