you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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