The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
