The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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