I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I cut my penus on the lid.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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