Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
