He is an equal opportunity slut.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
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