possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
