Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
