Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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