Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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