god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
