turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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