Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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