You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
