He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
