I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
