Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
