just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
How does one acquire holy water?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
