It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
