shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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