I'm gonna have a badass scar
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
