Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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