Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
