i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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