Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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