dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
