I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
