She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
