Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Randomize
