I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
