i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
