don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
