dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
