He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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