everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
