i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
