Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she smelled like a LAN party
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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