i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
