Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
