THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
