so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize