i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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