I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
