i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
my liver is dry heaving
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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