Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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