Cold hands, warm shart.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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